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Lorenz
is possibly the most craptastic act to score a
UK
top 40 hit in recent history. Everything about Lorenz is
completely irresistible to pop trash fans. His cheesecake
cover versions are gloriously tacky, the euro-dance sound
brings back warm memories of the "Venga bus" and
his nude billboard publicity whoring surely makes him the
Sabrina of the naughties! And then there is the cherry on
the top - the fact that Lorenz was discovered at an all
male review by Kerry Katona.
According to Lorenz, he is "massive" in
Italy
. Strangely, no one seems to have heard of him there.
Anyway, if he's not massive in
Italy
- he should be. This kind of talent comes along once in a
generation! Maybe Lorenz is referring to his other career.
There are rather loud whispers that Lorenz has an
alternate means of income as a male escort. If this is
true, we volunteer to test out Lorenz’s services and
write a detailed review. Free of charge, of course!
Pop Star
It’s
time to climb out of the gutter long enough to mention
Lorenz's camp musical output. Lorenz kicked off his
English language career with a stunning cover of
"Turn The Beat Around". It's not quite up there
with Gloria Estefan's interpretation or Dannii's pseudo
cover ("Perfection"), but it is joyful in its
own right. The cheap synths, poor production and reed
thin, accented vocals equates to three minutes of pop
trash HEAVEN! Lorenz followed "Turn The Beat
Around" with "Set Me Free", his brilliant
UK
top 40 hit. The homosexuals must have been out in force
that week because this shit is camp. It's another slice of
highly addictive dance music. One of the notable things
about "Set Me Free" is the disturbing cover -
Lorenz is a very attractive man but he has been so
airbrushed on the cover that he could easily be mistaken
for an animated character. Lorenz is best enjoyed as a
visual experience, so check out the cheap but cheerful
videos for "Turn The Beat Around" (the dance
routine is just hilarious) and "Set Me Free".
Thankfully, Lorenz does not appear to own a shirt!
Right
Back
Promos
were released for a song called "Right Back",
which was to be Lorenz's third single. It appears to have
been scheduled for release in November 2006 but was
ultimately scrapped, which devastated Lorenz’s army of
fans around the globe. "Right Back" represents a
change of pace for the Italian sex god. The song is a
cheesy ballad, complete with a hysterical video that has
Lorenz walking along the beach in tight, wet clothing. In
other words, it is trash of the highest order! The promo
also comes with a fabulous dance edit, a 12" remix
and a copy of the video clip.
Transcendental
Lorenz
It seems that Lorenz has momentarily turned his back on
the pop world to release a meditation CD, which is
available from his glorious website. Hopefully, this isn't
the last we see of Lorenz because he just might be the
most gifted male musician on the face of the earth!
-
Mike
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